DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT. I binged. I broke my fast at 45 hours exactly.
I was so hungry and dizzy and exhausted. But I was so uncomfortable that I couldn't sleep. It was bizarre. So I gave in and ate ONE Raweo (a raw cookie made by dehydrating soaked cashew, coconut, raw oahu honey, and carob)... thinking that'd give me some sort of satisfaction. Then maybe I could fall asleep.
Wrong. I started feeling even more icky. Like restless OMG-I'M-GONNA-DIE uncomfortable. So I went downstairs to make some herbal tea; and ended up binging:
2 Organic Flax Seed Waffles (240 cals)
20 Olives (35 cals)
2 Raweos (+1 earlier, estimated total of 145 cals - I put it into fitday.com as a carob & honey brownie)
2 Whole Wheat Pitas (160 cals)
4 Tablespoons Organic Garlic Hommos (70 cals)
1 Pat Margarine (27 cals)
1 Raw Strawberry (4 cals)
My total for the day is now 742 cals.
I'm seriously crossing my fingers that I don't gain. Luckily I feel so full & sick right now that I have no more temptation to eat.
Please don't let me gain. 128 looked so good on the scale.
Regardless; I'm restarting my fast. wowen & I are going for 72 hours. I CAN DO THIS.
On the bright side: I am being good & have resisted IMing or calling Nolan. And at least I binged on healthy, organic foods, except for the margarine.
Tomorrow is a day off. It's harder, for some reason, to fast on days that I work. So hopefully the fact that my only plans for tomorrow are maybe hanging out with Josh... hopefully that'll help.
Wish me luck...
|comments: Leave a comment|